A Cruel Romance

In 1984 in the Soviet Union was released film "A Cruel Romance" based on the play "The Dowerless Girl" (thank you, Valery, for the title--I spent about half an hour trying to find out if this work was translated into English and under what title, but couldn't) by Alexandr Ostrovsky. The film immediately became classics. One of the songs, a romance to be exact, "That's what I say before I go" (А на последок я скажу) with amazing lyrics by Bella Akhmadulina became especially famous. It had it all--perfect acting by Larisa Guzeeva, wonderful singing by Valentina Ponomaryova, and touching music by Andrey Petrov--but still the lyrics was the jewel crown of this romance. Looking for this poem on the Internet, not only did I find it but also discovered that the romance was available on YouTube. It was a very emotional moment, getting twenty five years back in time while listening to the song and watching a fragment from the film. I couldn't resist posting it today. Search for the English translation of the poem didn't bring any results, so I had no choice but translate it myself as close as possible to the original, doing my best to keep the rhythm and, where feasible, rhymes. The translation is still work in progress and open to suggestions if there are lines that need editing.

Bella Akhmadulina
That's what I say before I go

That's what I say before I go.
That's what I say before I go,
Good-bye, no promises to love me.
I’m going mad,
Or rising up to high degree of pure madness.
How did you love?—you slightly sipped from my demise.
Ah, never mind.
How did you love? You ruined me.
But ruined me like awkward blind.
That's what I say before I go.

My mind’s still alive, a bit. It's still alive,
But hands fell down,
And smells along with sounds too
In little flocks are fading out.
That's what I say before I go:
Good-bye, no promises to love me.
I’m going mad,
Or rising up to high degree of pure madness.
That's what I say before I go…

Translation by Mikhail Lennikov
© 2009 by Mikhail Lennikov

Below is a version of the poem made by a professional translator working for UN. It can be found in the comments to my blog, but I post it here just to make it readily available for the readers. Unfortunately, I don't have this person's name to give him a credit for his work.

That's what I say before I go
farewell, don't feel obliged to love
I'm going mad
and rising up to a high degree of pure madness
your way of loving - it destroyed me
but destroying me is not important
your way of loving - it destroyed me
how awkwardly you destroyed me though
so that's what I say before I go.....
My mind is still alive
its still alive but I've got no strength to feel alive
smells and sounds are fading away
So that's what I say before I go
August 20, 2009

By request from a reader I also posted the Russian original of the poem.

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А напоследок я скажу.

А напоследок я скажу:

Прощай, любить не обязуйся.

С ума схожу.

Иль восхожу к высокой степени безумства.

Как ты любил? Ты пригубил погибели.

Не в этом дело.

Как ты любил? Ты погубил.

Но погубил так неумело.

А напоследок я скажу...

Работу малую висок еще вершит.

Но пали руки,

И стайкою, наискосок,

Уходят запахи и звуки.

А напоследок я скажу:

Прощай, любить не обязуйся.

С ума схожу. Иль восхожу

К высокой степени безумства.

Так напоследок я скажу...  **************************** 


October 12, 2009 

In an attempt to bring this poem as close as possible to English readers, I have completed 
one more translation where vocabulary and imagery of the original have been prioritized 
over the rhythm and rhymes. And again, because this is not a work of a professional 
translator, this amateur try is just an invitation to continue efforts to eventually create a 
nearly perfect English version of this poem.  
  

And that’s what I say before I go— 

Farewell, don’t promise me to love (me). 

I’m going mad. 

Or I’m ascending to a high degree of madness. 

What was your love like? Your lips just touched the death. 

But that is not what (really) matters. 

What was your love like? You ruined me. 

But (you) ruined me so unskilfully. 

And that’s what I say before I go… 

Just a little, but my mind is still alive. 

Yet my arms are lifeless, 

And scents and sounds, in a small flock,    

   are slantingly fading away. 

And that’s what I say before I go— 

Farewell, don’t promise me to love (me). 

I’m going mad. Or I’m ascending to    

   a high degree of madness. 

That’s what I say before I go…  

© 2009, Mikhail Lennikov